Article 50 doesn’t exist, claim European Union

The EU admitted last night over a few schnapps that article 50 doesn’t really exist, it was all a joke and they only have articles numbered up to 49.

“They were giggling their arses off,” explained Gerald Batten, MEP for London, “bloody foreign piss-flaps.” The UKip MP broke down and cried like a baby outside the European Parliament offices in Brussels, “what am I going to tell May, she’ll kill me?!”

It’s not the first time the suggestions of British MEP’s have been laughed off at Brussels, with no official explanation why. Nigel Farage was reported to be outraged by Gerald’s “namby-pamby reaction,” and advocated he should, “go back in there, glass them in the face with a pint Margo and tell them the European sense of humour is not big or clever.”

President of the European Commission Jean-Claude Van Darn laughed in Gerald’s face, saying, “What kind of name is Gerald anyway, ha-ha? We didn’t even sign a treaty in Lisbon, it was in Malaga!”

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