This morning NASA’S Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter has picked up a green flare, coming from the planet surface, with a green mist behind it and it’s directed at London.

Tracking stations in Bermuda, Houston, Canberra and Madrid have mysteriously gone offline.

President Trump is said to be making a statement in two hours time expected to call a planetary state of emergency. Until then it is advisable to stay in your homes, watch the Andrew Mar Show and eat a sausage sandwich; unless you voted to remain in the EU. Those who did will be armed with a saucepan and posted to front line.

A spokesman for NASA has issued a warning to all life on Earth, “we don’t know what this is, could be a cosmic explosion, a Martian attack, or possibly our observer sneezing on the telescope.”

All we know at this stage is we are no more doomed than continuing with the current US and Uk political agenda.

Thersea May announced MI5 intelligence leaks predicted  this move by Donald Tusk some weeks ago.

“The EU building a Martian army is a petty scaremongering attempt,” she claimed, “the chances of anything coming from trade agreements is a million to one, but still we will come.”

Adamant the alien invasion  will have no effect on Brexit the Prime Minister continued, “We need to pull together, set our phasers to stun and get our country back from Martian benefit cheats. Any aliens entering the country will be either neutralised or deported back to the red planet.”


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